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Sex: Healing Your Relationship

Sex can be seen as a taboo subject. Being raised in a repressed home at a time that "sex sells" was the advertising attitude had a profound effect on me in regards to sex, desire, and body image or being comfortable in my body as a woman. And, then with the patriarchal attitude being the dominant one has made the sex taboo even more for women who are comfortable in their skin in and around sex as BAD. Being confidant, successful or having a sexual appetite can be seen as bitchy, competitive, overly masculine and a whole host of negative epitaphs.

Another block around sex comes from having an emotionally unavailable parent(s). You did not learn how to show love or be emotionally intimate with another because it was now shown to you. You had no model. No lesson. No example. Sex became a tool to get what you wanted in a relationship. Sex became the way to bond with another person in what is considered the most intimate act. But for you it is not intimate, it is connection for survival.

This physical connection is seen as the only way to connect with someone in a way that makes them tied to you for connection that feels like companionship, monetary support, safety, stability, and a tie to another that lets you feel "not alone" in life. All the things that in reality are what you receive in an emotional connection.

To be emotionally available for connection to another allows them access to your deepest desires and your deepest fears. But, if you have never been shown how to express those in a safe and open manner, then you hide them to keep anyone from knowing the essence of who you are. By not having ever shared those parts of yourself to a safe and trusted person, you will not feel safe to share them with anyone always feeling like you have to maintain a facade of what you think that person wants you to be to keep yourself feeling safe.

Not allowing an emotional connection keeps you attached to your ego and the need to always be safe through always being in control of people and situations. When you operate out of your "ego" that part of yourself tied to your survival, you are always going to choose what is best for you without regard to anyone else's needs. And, in extreme cases without remorse for the consequences of your choices and decisions to anyone else.

How you allow healthy, connected sex is to heal those parts of yourself that do not allow for emotional intimacy. Through emotional intimacy and living your authentic-self will you be able to experience the energetic exchange that happens during the act of sex on a whole new level.

Also, balancing your Diving Feminine with your Divine Masculine will allow you to feel safe to express your love through the emotional and physical acts bringing synergy to the expression of love.

  • Healing your inner child from past abuse and neglect: medical professional, counseling, energy work, or whatever healing resonates with you

  • Loving yourself: getting real with the good and the bad

  • Getting in touch with what you desire and are passionate about in all aspects of your life

  • Learning appropriate and healthy ways to express feelings, love and intimacy

  • Developing trust habits with yourself and others

  • Allowing forgiveness and remorse for your actions given and received by others

For more help with blockages: trust, intimacy and love "click me" for information on IET. Blessings, M xo

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