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Self-Worth and Why I Can't Succeed

Do you have a hard time being on time?

Do you have technical issues ALL the time?

Do you struggle with organization, clutter, and chaos all around you?

Do we have unfulfilling relationships? One-sided? Taken for granted? Not respected?

Are we tired all the time? Stressed? Annoyed? Impatient? Out of sorts? Running on empty?

Believe it or not our outside reflects out inside! When I had my first child, I could not get a handle on my clutter, dishes, mopping or laundry. I thought it was about being a new mother, healing from birth and learning my new child. And, to some degree it was but what it really was…I was in an unhealthy relationship…with myself.

Even if you are not a new mother or you are a guy, how we relate to ourselves on the inside is paramount to what is going on in our outside: home, job, relationship, or situation. Many people come to me with situations of feeling like they are not living their best lives with spending, eating or addictive tendencies that they are ready to heal. And the underlying cause in most cases is an issue with self-worth and looking for something outside of themselves to make themselves feel better. It will never happen.

We can want to blame our job, partner, relationship, or situation on “other.” At the end of the day, it all comes down to our own self-worth. Do we love ourselves enough to put ourselves first on the priority list: take care of our own needs, do what we like to do, say ‘no’ to others, and any way that shelves our own needs? We want to point the finger at any one of a million things that will keep us from looking to closely at ourselves, internally to what is wrong or does not feel good.

What is going on inside our mental and emotional bodies? These are questions that some of us shy away from to closely because the answers are traumatic. For others of us, we didn’t even know to ask the question. We did not understand or know the correlation between our thoughts and emotions about traumatic events or ways that we were given to think about ourselves from a very early age. How the hurts, abuses, neglect we suffered, or the words that were hurled at us affected how we related to ourselves.

Healing our self-worth, learning to love ourselves unconditionally, putting our own needs first and feeling empowered to have a voice are the ways in which to take your power back and stand up for yourself. YES! Read that again! Especially if you struggled reading those words and really taking them in…read them as many times as it takes for them to sink in.

You are worthy. You are important. You are loved. You are lovable. You are beautiful. You are seen. You are heard. You are valued. You are valuable.

For so many of us we were not made to feel those things, so we became to pleasing. To giving. To amiable. To unseen and unheard, always standing down from what we need to make others happy or comfortable. It is time to make those around you uncomfortable and those that respect it, respect you and those are your people…those that don’t, well it was nice knowing you: goodbye.

Steps to take to empower yourself and love yourself unconditionally:

  • Set boundaries

  • Ask for what you want

  • Expect to be counted

  • Say ‘no’ and mean it

Releasing the traumas and dramas that have been holding you back can feel difficult or scary…please reach out ( if you would like help releasing these old patterns and imprinting the support and love that you so desire. Blessings, M xo

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