As an empath it is so easy to get caught up in the brokenness of others. We want to help wherever we can. It is a part of our survival mode that kicks in when we feel needed by others. Their pain and trauma calls to us on a cellular level. We physically feel like we need to jump into others’ emotional pool and throw them a life preserver using our own emotional intelligence. What we fail to understand is that this creates a bond energetically that fuses us together in the trauma responses of both parties regardless of whether you are the empath or the narcissist.
As an empath your trauma response is saving everyone that you come into contact with that you can feel is drowning in emotional pain. You do not feel safe if everyone around you is not happy. Whatever your trauma, experience, or pain is born from, the result is that you have become the people-pleaser or fixer to keep yourself safe. You have developed the ability the emotional intelligence, clairsentience to be able to feel when things are negative, bad, uncomfortable, tense, or in any way an unsafe feeling. Your response is to help. Your survival depends upon it. Whether that is true or not, you feel you have to be beneficial no matter what.
A narcissist is broken emotionally. Their trauma response has led them to operate out of their ego. They will do, say, or act in any way that allows them to get their ego fed. Their need to be preserved as right, good, helpful, attractive, the hero, the most desirable, and all manners wanted by others is their trauma response. They will say and promise whatever they think will get the desired response without any remorse for the hurt and pain this causes the other party. These are all the ways they feel they need to conduct themselves for their survival. They have no emotional intelligence in so far as to be afraid of any emotional response that surfaces. For most, an emotional response makes them angry and will have them lashing out because that makes them feel vulnerable, which triggers their survival instinct.
When you put these two types of people in a relationship, it is the most combustible energetic force. In the beginning of these relationships when the narcissist is behind the mask of charming, agreeable, complimentary, and promising the world to get you to attach to them; in addition to your ability to feel their brokenness and deep desire to heal, soothe, encourage, the attachment is two-fold, thick, and tied into both of your survival instincts.
First, the combustible energy can manifest in an erotic physical connection with dramatic overtones in what seems to be the emotional connection of big, loud love. Once this phase ends usually in one to four months, the mask comes off of the narcissist and the need to control and manipulate begins to ensure their survival, and there is no remorse at this point for the treatment of the empath—lying, cheating, controlling, and abusing: verbally, emotionally, and physically, some or all depending on the individual situation. Also, in some/most cases addiction is also involved as the narcissist needs help with pushing down, ignoring, and masking their pain.
Once the mask comes off, the difficulties begin. The empath is now tied into the narcissist’s trauma. Usually believing the excuses because they want to try and understand why the relationship has changed so dramatically. There is no understanding of it as rational at this point the empath must understand narcissism. It is a psychological diagnosis and should be treated as such. However, the important point for this discussion is that at this point the empath must understand that the narcissist has no remorse for their actions. The promises had no basis as it was a ruse to attain the attachment for their energetic benefit.
On the emotional scale the narcissist is energetically below fear operating out of instinct, using greed, erotic gratification, and infantile instinctual desires. Having an empath attachment allows them to energetically ascend up the chart, feeling better about themselves, their situation, and life in general. Some feeling hopeful for the first time. This is why they are unwilling to allow the attachment to be severed. And, in some case, this is why the abuse gets so dangerous. Also, in most cases, the narcissist will reach out periodically after a severed connection to check in with the empath to try and reconnect even for a short time to re-attach to their beneficial energy. Disconnecting will take total disconnection on all levels.
One type of connection can be called a soul mate or soul level. This type of connection will be the easier to maneuver out of and heal from. Soul mates are brought together for the purpose of evolving the soul of one of the parties. Rarely will these relationships last whole lifetimes. Typically, the empath is forced to transform to be able to heal from the connection to be able to move on to a new path. *Only through therapeutic care is the narcissist going to be able to evolve and heal. And, overcome addiction or addictive tendencies.
The twin flame connection is the hardest to heal from on the physical plane. This connection already has an energetic connection as twin flames are mirror partners. The empath will be able to disconnect on the physical plane, however the energetic connection will remain. So, they will need to develop discernment for what they are experiencing as physical experiences versus energetic or astral experiences. This discernment will allow the healing to take place in this time and place existence. Many twin flame partners take on the role of narcissist to help their partner release a karmic pattern that the empath has not been able to achieve on their own. This also allows the empath to transmute this energy of survival instinct that no longer serves them or their purpose in this lifetime.
These relationships can become a pattern for either party going from one empath/narcissist relationship to another until we become aware of this dynamic in ourselves or our partners. We can heal and transform or evolve to break the cycle. There is hope.
1. Recognize your own role.
2. Heal that part of yourself that keeps you in this dynamic.
Unfortunately, there is no half measure. The healing process will be grueling and take months, if not years. Disconnecting is not for now; in most cases it is for the rest of this lifetime. Do not despair this was for your evolution to be able to manifest and receive love in a more balanced partnership. Getting therapeutic care is recommended with energy healing as part of the approach.
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