This has been being brought to my awareness lately...how much I am judging myself, others, and expectations of what I thing "they" should be and do. I catch myself judging decisions or how "they" are doing something. I am not staying in my own lane most of the time. I feel like I know best or some such nonsense. Yes, I am calling myself out! Who the hell am I?
Growing up American with post WWII raised parents, everything was judged. Our financial status, house, car, religion, clothes, body type, hair, and anything that could be judged. In this society, we are programmed to "keep up with the Jones's." Judgement wasn't even seen as bad, but a way in which we all relate. Since the 20th century, it has become less prevalent.
However, we are programmed from an early age and there is a whole generation of called Generation X that was raised by the Baby Boomers, who instilled in us the need to be judging or in competition with our peers. Not consciously does this generation foist their beliefs on us, but the unconscious patterns have been handed down.
Unfortunately, judgement is a lower frequency and brings with it the inability to have or be more. When you are always looking outside of yourself, noticing others and allowing the feeling of lack or shame enter your energy field or affect your vibration, then you are unable to have or create what you want in your life. It is law: Law of Attraction.
Non-judgement is allowing people, situations, and events to be what they will be. In my own life, this is monumentally hard. I want to keep others safe. I want to help where I don't belong because unfortunately, experience teaches lessons. I don't want anyone who is coming into my awareness to hurt, have hardship, or fall in anyway. I want to protect. And it does not work that way.
People an often become resentful of those who want to share unsolicited advice or experience. Let's face it we don't like to be judged, and just because we can see someone else's situation from a different perspective doesn't give us a right to come in all know it all on them. This can be hard particularly when we can see a bump on the nose coming for them and we are trying to help stop or minimize the pain.
Practicing non-judgement or allowing a situation to be what it is, does not feel safe! We are programmed to rush in and fix "the problem." Watching someone make a mistake, that you know from experience is a mistake, can be difficult because you want to protect those you love; or those who you just don't want to see go through what you know will be a long, hard process to overcome.
Two ways to be beneficial to others or even yourself when judgement comes up is:
Allowing is the non-judgement of a person or situation to be what it is. And, you act accordingly for your own safety and stability.
Acceptance is to let it be what is, let decisions be made, and let everyone have permission to be or do what they feel is right. And, you act accordingly for your own safety and stability.
What we sometimes forget is that we have to free will to stick in and do the work to make it better, or we can disconnect because the outcome is to far away from our comfort zone. Becoming self-aware of what you believe, want, and what your boundaries are is going to become very important in navigating when someone is judging you.
If you need help releasing or overcoming trauma surrounding this topic, please use the button for more information. Blessings, M xo